Ticking Torture

   I'm alone.

   Surrounded by fake smiles, cruel hearts, deceitful lies, mocking hatred. I'm trapped and alone like a mouse. No one to seek comfort. No one to hold my hand. I'm truly, utterly alone.

   Now, all I see and encounter are fakes, hoping to destroy and shatter the things in their path. Both sides tug my arms, wanting me to pick sides. They rip me apart, tearing me from my sanity that's slowly crumbling like soft soil. Yes. A listener I shall be. A judge I shall not. I can only listen and leave, not intending to be engulfed in such sheer pleasure of deception and emotional malice.

   As I set my foot into the world, all my eyes can see are pain, suffering, and death. I can only gulp in fear and distress. I can only move my legs faster, hoping and wishing to be in my solitude where no one can ever break what's left of me.

   A smile. A laugh. A mere giggle that shows joy and whatnot. Those are all masks. Masks that melts once silence wraps me whole. One by one thoughts attack me, piercing their sharp bloody swords into my thin fragile mind. They tear me apart. They demolish me ruthlessly. Until bones are all that is left. Until the wind blows away the black ashes that symbolizes the true nature of my heart.

   "You're my friend." This world is full of fakes.

   "I promise." This world is full of lies.

   "I am always here for you." This world is full of frauds.

   And I can only lie here helplessly, letting my body rot in the burning flames of grief.

   I hurt the ones I love. I turn my back on the people that trusted me. I deserve this punishment. I deserve my retribution. They give me smiles, I give them snarls. They don't deserve this. I don't deserve them. Every time help is given to me, I slap their hands away and run. Run as fast as I can until their figures disappear from my clouded sight. I laugh at my stupidity. I ridicule at my naivety. How foolish can a human get? How moronic can a person endure? Even when I know there are still people who love me just the way I am, the tiniest, darkest part of me will always take control. A curse, so I shall put it. This curse will always whisper in my ears sweet songs of death. This harmless curse will always poison my mind, blinding me from the light of life.          

   I am sorry. I truly am. I didn't mean to seek attention. I never did. I never will. I've realized how much of a burden I have been. I've known how much of a sick idiot I once was. All of these led me to this. All of these made me who I am today: a fake person whose grief shall be tightly sealed until the end of time. A happy human whose smile is sewn painfully on her face, hiding the true pain she eternally bears.

   A fool laughing at the brink of torture.

END.